Tag Archives: Relationships

Can’t Fix Stupid!

You just can’t fix stupid.  It’s one of my favorite sayings.

It applies to so many!  For some, it seems they feed off of stupidity. Live in a perpetual state of stupid. In their choices.  In their language.  In their attitudes.

It’s harsh, I know.  But in reality, I think most are guilty from time to time of becoming exasperated with those around us.  It’s easy to sit back and see others’ mistakes (while conveniently overlooking our own).  The foolishness in their life choices or even their everyday decisions.  It’s easy to judge them and their crazy behavior.

But it only takes a moment of retrospection to realize that I can be just as ridiculous as any other.  I have walked down that road of selfish, irrational, ridiculous, stupidity in my life choices more times than I care to recall. I even revisit it every now and then.  Stupidity seems to be an old friend of mine that I just can’t let go of.  I’m sure that phrase I throw around so readily has been thrown in my direction a time or ten.  We all have our moments.

Sometimes our irrational behavior is a result of silliness.  Folly. It’s usually short-lived.  A moment of insanity.

Other times it’s a result of being uneducated.  You simply don’t know any better.  When you learn better, you do better.

Even still, sometimes erratic behavior comes as a result of being hurt.  Deeply.  We throw caution and wisdom to the wind because we just want to feel better.  We tire of the burdens we carry, the problems life throws at us, and throw our hands in the air.  Just do what feels good.  Sure, it may be a mistake.  But in the moment, we get a little relief.  And that makes it easy to ignore the consequences that will follow later.

It’s easy to become impatient with others when they live in a state of perpetual stupidity.  You just want them to grow up.  To get a grip.  Enough already.  They made their bed, now they can lay in it!

But we are called to a higher standard.  We are called to love those, even in their moments of stupidity. Even when bad choices consume their lives.  Even when they fall into a cycle of negative behavior.

The Bible commands us to be tenderhearted.  Patient.  Kind.  Gentle.  Have mercy on others.  Yes, even when enough is enough.  Even when they need to get a grip.  Even when they need to grow up.  We must love others through their times of struggle.  At times we may have to help them pick up the pieces of their broken lives.  The mess they’ve made.  It’s at those times it’s important to handle them with tenderhearted kindness.  Mercy.  Humility.  Gentleness.  And definitely patience.

After all, that’s exactly what the Father does for us. I’m sure He daily shakes His head in disbelief at my choices.  My thoughts.  And my actions.  Yet, He never washes His hands of me.  He picks me up, dusts me off, helps to put the pieces back together.  And even renews my heart and soul. His mercies are new every morning!

Let’s remember to treat others the way He treats us…. with compassion.  No, you can’t fix stupid. But you can love someone through it.  Pray them through it.  And show them God’s love through our care and love for them.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.   –Colossians 3:12


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Posted by on January 16, 2012 in Daily Devotions


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Don’t be a Hater!

Hate is thrown around today like a hot potato.  We have a fan club of haters.  Haters hate.

Someone talks about you behind their back.  You hate them.  Someone wrongs you.  You hate them.  Your teacher is grumpy.  You hate him.  Your mom grounds you.  You hate her.  Your girlfriend breaks up with you.  You hate her.  Your husband won’t do anything around the house.  You hate him.  The President does things that don’t make sense.  You hate him.  The bank won’t give you a loan.  You hate big business.  People of a different race move in next door.  You hate them.  Some people are too goody-two shoes.  You hate them.  Hypocrites.  You hate them.

We often joke about our haters.  They make us famous.  Let’s give em something to hate.

The Bible says HATE is a very serious thing.  It’s not a joking matter.  In fact, the Bible says that anyone who says they love God but hates someone is a liar.  It goes as far to say if you hate someone, you cannot love God.  We are commanded to LOVE our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Not encouraged to do so.  Not asked to do so.  It’s not optional.  We are commanded to LOVE one another.

I know exactly what you are thinking.  People can hurt you.  Some can take your heart and stomp on it, spit on it, and walk away.  Often times, people give you little to love.  You are likely at some time in your life, to run across someone who seems to be on a mission to destroy you.  How do you NOT hate someone who has so horribly wronged you or someone you love?

I have been there.  And all I know is that you have to hand your feelings, your hatred to God.  Go to Him, spill your heart.  Seek His help.  Forgiveness is important for YOU.  Not for that person.  One of the greatest acts of love is forgiveness.  That does not mean this person has to be a part of your life.  It doesn’t mean you have to be friends or ever will be.  But don’t allow hatred for this person to build up and eat at you.  Generally speaking, all that hatred only destroys YOU.  You need justice?  I understand.  I need some myself.  But it’s not my place.  It’s God’s.  And He knows not only that I need justice for those who have wronged me, but also the justice that should be handed to me for my sins.

We are called to love.  Everyone.  Even those who annoy us.  Even those who wrong us.  Even those who destroy our hearts.

Today, think about hate.  What in your life do you need to stop hating and hand over to God?  Who do you need to love enough to forgive?

My job.  My calling is to follow Him.  I simply cannot do that while hating others.  I cannot love God while hating others.  It’s a choice I must make in order to be obedient to Him.  And I choose God.

We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.  And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.  –1 John 4:19-21


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Posted by on December 1, 2011 in Daily Devotions


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Sister Friends with 32 Kids…….and Counting!

Ok, so I have a confession to make.  Actually, I have several confessions to make, but I’m gonna focus on this one.

I wasted vast amounts of time this past weekend vegging out in front of the TV.

I watched every episode of Sister Wives Netflix has available.  But that wasn’t enough.  I then moved to the computer to see if more episodes were online.  I watched clip after clip.  Of course, when I was out of more to watch, I began surfing through the TLC website….where I discovered 19 Kids and Counting.  So, I jumped back to the TV.  Back to Netflix.  And guess what?  They have tons of episodes of the Duggars!

I learned a LOT from watching these shows.  Really.  I did. In fact, I learned so much, I now have new life goals.  True story.  Stop it!  Don’t judge!  I have a plan.  It’s so brilliant, you will wish you had thought of it yourself. But before I share my brilliance, I need to explain.


First of all, Sister Wives.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am in NO WAY condoning, encouraging, or promoting polygamy.  Polygamy is wrong.  Period.  End of story.  So just get off your soap box for a moment and listen.  These families team up.  This family even lives in one G.I.G.A.N.T.I.C. house.  The wives help each other out with childcare, cooking duties, financial responsibilities.  It’s like one HUGE family but with several moms to hold down the fort.  They form friendships and bond with each other and their children.  The only problem I can see is this guy.  This husband.  He flaunts all over this giant house having himself a hi-ho time.  Sure, he works and brings in some money.  But most of the wives work, too.

After watching the entire first season, I have come to a spectacular conclusion.  I could so have some sister wives ……….WITHOUT the hubby!  I mean, think about it.  Instant built in babysitter.  You don’t like to cook?  No problem.  Trade duties for things you DO enjoy.  All while living in harmony with your best friends.  Put the kids to bed, and instant girls night!  I bet millions would watch, too.  Sister Friends…coming to a channel near you.

Next, the Duggars.  Wow.  19 kids and yet another on the way.  You can’t help but be curious.  When you have your own classroom full of your very own rugrats, how do you survive??  I am completely worn out just from my five.  My first thought before watching this family was, well…… know.  Let’s just say it wasn’t happy thoughts.  But then, I sat down to watch.

And BAM!  There it was!  My dream home!


A laundry room with 4 washers and dryers.  A room just to store everyone’s clothes in organized and labeled bins.  HUGE bedrooms that hold multiple beds.  Eight, yes, eight bathrooms!  The living room is HUGE.  The kitchen is as well, but then on top of that, they have a commercial kitchen in the back complete with cafeteria style buffet line.  Their pantry looks like a small grocery store.  The dining room contains soda fountains.  They even have a game room and a slide next to the stairs in the game room.  Wow.  I completely thought they must be insane to have so many children.  But then, I see this house.  You can’t tell me a family this big could afford a house like that PRE-TV show.  And they are constantly going places.   Making appearances.  Taking trips.


I’m thinking…..I can do this!  All of this!!  Sister Friends combined with the Duggars….

Just a few problems arise.  Like how to keep pro-creating without a man in the picture.  And that leads me to wonder what will I do with my hubby.  I really like having him around.  But then that messes up my whole sister friends idea.  And then there’s the fact that I had a tubal years ago. Oh, and I need some other sister friends to sign up.  And they must be willing to add to the production line as well.  More babies means more square footage.

These problems are simply bumps in the road.  That’s all.  Nothing I can’t overcome.  I would go on and explain, but then you would know too much.  I can’t have anything or anyone interfering with, or heaven forbid, trying to steal my my awesome plan to get my dream house AND full-time help!

I know you must have a million questions, but I must go now.  I have work to do.  I have vacations (I mean, um, appearances) to plan and dream home house plans to create.  It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.



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Posted by on November 14, 2011 in It's my life.....


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TGIF………Time to get your CHEER on!

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.  –Proverbs 17:22

A crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Wow.  Get a mental image of dried up bones.  Humor me.  Surely, they would ache and hurt each time you use them.  I would imagine them to be brittle.  Easily broken.  And although my first reaction to this verse is, “Dramatic much?”, it makes sense.  When your spirit is crushed by the circumstances and heartbreak of life, you hurt, both physically and emotionally.  You do feel as though you will break at any moment.   The emotional state of your soul can literally make you sick. During those times, it’s an utter necessity to keep your eye on God.  Lean on Him.  And know that He is in control and will bring you through.

It’s also important to guard your heart from the poison of other’s bad attitudes.   We all have someone in our life who is negative about everything.  They could be handed a million dollars and still complain because they had to figure out what to do with the money.  No matter what is going on around them, they are grumpy, grouchy, negative, and pessimistic.  These folks have an uncanny ability to rain on anyone’s parade before it even begins.  They are joy-killers.  Choosing to spend time with these folks takes a toll on a cheerful heart.  In fact, it can crush your spirit.  And nobody wants dried up bones!  Just say NO to the Negative Nelly mindset.

After all, Today is FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just that simple sentence puts a smile on my face from ear to ear.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel…and it’s close enough to know it’s NOT a train coming for me.

The end of the week is within my grasp, right there at my fingertips.

I have lived through another week.  I haven’t only survived, but I have conquered!!

Even if your week has been full of disappointment or heartache, you now have the weekend to refresh, renew your spirit, and spend some time worshiping God.  Choose to have a cheerful heart today.  And yes, it is a choice.  It helps you walk a little lighter.  Your steps a little quicker.  Your outlook a little brighter.  It’s nearly impossible to see a half-empty cup when you are in a cheerful mood.  Even in the midst of problems and trials, an attitude of looking forward to brighter days ahead can change the impact of those trials in your life at the moment.  And often, life is so hard, we need to live moment by moment to survive.

So, today, don’t let any Negative Nelly rain on your Friday parade!!  Count your blessings.  Be thankful for what you HAVE been giving instead of focusing on what all is falling apart.   With God at your side, you can be assured, brighter days are ahead!!

Get your cheer on!!

Sing and dance……….Have a Fabulous Friday!!

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Posted by on November 4, 2011 in Daily Devotions


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Angry Hearts

And don’t sin by letting anger control you. 

Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Ephesians 4:26-27

Have you ever been so angry it was difficult to think straight?  Sadly, I experienced this type of anger a few weeks ago.  I became so angry, it was difficult to focus on anything else for the remainder of the day.  As much as I’m ashamed to admit it, most of my day centered around angry thoughts and words.  I allowed the cruel actions of someone else to dictate my day by filling my heart full of anger.  Anger is poison to the soul.

Anger is such a powerful emotion.  It can cause you to do things you would normally never do.  It can cause you to spew verbal vomit that is offensive, hateful, and downright mean.  If you aren’t careful, anger can grab a hold on your heart and squeeze the life out of it.  It can completely consume your life.  And it is almost always counter-productive.  Nothing comes out of it.   It just puts us in a useless state of turmoil. 

The Bible tells us not to let our anger control us.  Anger is often inevitable.  You will experience it.  How you handle it is up to you.  When you give anger free reign over your heart, you are handing it control over your thoughts and actions.  It plants seeds of bitterness, rage, hatred, and unforgiveness. 

It snuffs out every glimmer of hope. 

It kills love. 

It leaves no room for grace.  

When you allow anger to take root in your heart, you hand the devil the keys to your heart.  It’s like letting him get his foot in the door to poison you with evil thoughts and negative emotions.  And if he can grab our thoughts, it won’t be long before he is dictating, and even consuming our steps. 

This scripture verse tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger.  It’s such a powerful, strong emotion, the longer we allow ourselves to entertain it, the easier it is for it to take over our life.  And truthfully, when we give in to our anger, we are giving those who have wronged us power over our lives.  Not only have they hurt us by their actions, but now they have power over your thoughts and actions as well.

As I was thinking about how easy it is for anger to take control, I was trying to think of some words of wisdom.  How do you turn away when your heart has been hurt?  How do you let it go when you have been horribly wronged and mistreated?

And then I thought of the cross.  Christ was beaten with whips that left bleeding lacerations all over his body.  He was tortured.  He was hung on a cross publicly for the world to see.  And he was innocent.  Yet, He chose love.

How angry I would be if had to endure all He endured.  In the midst of it all, he pleaded with God to forgive those who were responsible.  He chose love.

If I am to strive to have a heart like His, I must choose love.   I want my heart to be filled with the love of God.  And quite honestly, there isn’t room for both.  When anger comes your way…..and it will,  focus on the love of Christ.  Yes, you will still experience anger.  But with the God’s help, it will not take over.  Clear your heart of any anger, bitterness, hatred, and rage you might be hanging on to.  If you have sinned in your anger, seek forgiveness.  Don’t allow those who hurt you to have power over your life.

Give it to God.

He can and will fight your battles.

In Him, you will find comfort and rest for your troubled heart.

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Posted by on October 26, 2011 in Daily Devotions


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Life, Loss, and Love


Life is fragile.

It would be amazing if we could just handle life with ‘kid gloves’ so that maybe we could lengthen it’s stay.  Maybe, if we didn’t take it for granted so, extra time would be granted.  Precious time. If only.

Sadly, that’s just not how life works.  Our time here is limited. Borrowed, really, from the almighty Creator.

Not one living thing is exempt from it’s grasp.




Social position.

Nothing. can. keep. us. from. death’s grip.

You can’t run from it, avoid it, stop it.

Why then, is it so easy for us to forget how easily, quickly, and without warning, death can snatch us, never to return?

We walk about our day, usually with little thought to saying good-byes and living in the moment as if it were our last.  We get bogged down in minor irritations and declare our day a loss.  When in reality, every breath is a reason for celebration.

Last night, a dear family friend lost her husband unexpectedly.  Without warning.  Today the family still can’t believe it is real.

I understand.  Ten and a half months ago my family lost my step-dad to a work-related accident.  Suddenly. Without warning.

One minute he was working, anxious to get home after being gone for a few months.  The next, Elvin was gone.  Lost to us in this life.

One minute we were eating lunch, Christmas shopping, and laughing at silly jokes.  The next, my brother and I were picking my mom up out of the floor of the Golden Corral….literally. Lives changed.  Shattered.  In an instant.  Love lost in the time it takes you to simply breath in.

When my mom talked to him that morning, she never dreamed it would be their last conversation.

The last time he would call.

The last time she would hear his voice.

Her last good-bye.

It’s still, almost a full year later, hard to believe.  Hard to allow it to sink in, that I will never drive up to their house to see him working on the tractor out in the field again.  Hard to believe that the grandbabies will never again be able to climb into his lap as they so often did.  Hard to believe that at every family get together from now on, we will be missing one who was loved so dearly.  So, so hard.

The only way, the only light through all of this…..has been provided by my refuge, my strength, my Savior.  Through the tears.  The pain.  The longing.  He is there, carrying us.  After all, His love for us is greater than any we have for each other.  His love cannot be contained.  I can rest in Him, trusting, knowing…. that although I may not see the purpose of His plan, there is, in fact, a purpose.  Our dear loved one was not lost in vain.  God is in control.

Today, a dear friend is only at the beginning of this terrible, painful struggle.  A life lost.  Many lives left behind, changed forever by his absence.  My heart hurts.  It aches for their pain.  It opens up old wounds that had finally begun to heal, if only a little.  I’m right back to that day.  That moment.

Today, as you go about your day, hug your loved ones a little tighter.

Pay attention to their words. Their expressions.

Don’t leave words unspoken that need to be heard.

Live life with the reality of it’s fragile state.  We are blessed to be given wonderful family and friends to love.  Every minute spent with a loved one  is a blessing.  Don’t let the irritations and frivolities of life keep you from cherishing every moment.

It just might be the last one you get.


My Mom and Elvin at their wedding.

Elvin and Cameron on the tractor….

We have more pictures of him on the tractor with the grandbabies than we can count!

Happy Birthday!  He LOVED ALL things John Deere!

Elvin and Mom at my brother’s wedding….

Only a few months before we lost him.

He drove through the night to come in from out of state to be there.

Elvin Loggins

April 20, 1948 – December 4, 2011

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Posted by on October 25, 2011 in It's my life.....


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Randomness Strikes Again

Randomness is a part of my life.

It is a direct result of a life spent fighting undiagnosed ADHD.

Randomness consumes my mind most days.  Usually, I discipline myself to focus on the necessities of life.  But the weekend is getting scarily close to making its anticipated appearance, so I’m rebelling against the war within my brain to focus.  It’s over-rated anyway.  So, in my best “na-nanny boo-boo” voice……….

I don’t have to….and you can’t make me!!

Randomocity will reign supreme in my life today.  And I’m embracing it.

In honor of this special occasion, you get yet another random list of random nothingness.  I hope you randomly enjoy my randomness.

  • Although I don’t really believe in psychics, I would love to go try one out.  But then if they told me something I didn’t need to hear, I’m afraid I would spend my life obsessing over how to fix it, which would then lead me back to the psychic to tell me what to do, which would just continue the cycle.  I would forever be like a hamster in a wheel that never stops spinning.  I would be in  HAMSTER HELL!!!  Therefore, I exercise a bit of self-control and just say NO.  Go me!

  • I really want to give up Facebook.  I know, I know, people say these things all the time.  But I’m seriously considering it.  It consumes my life.  Besides, blogging is much more fun.  😉
  • I am on a quest to learn how to cook healthy foods…..and I’m actually enjoying it.  My kids are beginning to be much more health conscious, which is what spurred me to start in the first place.  Maybe I won’t die with clogged arteries after all.
  • The youngest of my herd is a coin collector.  Actually, he’s a quarter collector.  This makes me wanna ask every person I know to empty their pockets and let me check out their stash just in case its one of those elusive states he has yet to find.  It’s a good thing I don’t work as a cashier.  The only thing I would accomplish is harassing the customers for their quarters.
  • Pride and Prejudice is the absolute best love story ever.  I will forever be in love with Mr. Darcy.  What girl doesn’t want to hear, “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love…I love…I love you.  I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”  My knees are wobbling  at only the thought!!
  • I would love to find some old-fashioned lip-gloss like they had when I was a kid.  You know the kind that has the roller ball and tastes like bubble gum?  YUM!

  • I’m a closet Cowboys fan.  I thought about coming out, but making fun of them is so much more fun.  Especially as long as they have Romo on the team.
  • I read on Pinterest that most people pass gas 14 times a day.  Sounds like a lot of bull-balonkey, if you ask me.  I have now spent several days trying to count to see if this is actually true, but my ADD seems to get in the way of making it through the day without losing count.
  • My van needs a good cleaning.  I’m taking volunteers.
  • I love the idea of crafting, but truly lack the focus to engage in it.  I would love to be one of those super-creative people who can do anything.  Maybe I should read Crafting for Dummies.

  • Don Williams makes me miss my childhood.  The good ole days of eating beans and rice and watching the Barbara Mandrell Show.  (Go ahead, count it up to figure out how old I am, I’m still not telling!)
  • That whole healthy eating thing…….it also includes the dreaded word exercise.

Which shakes me to reality.  It’s almost time to meet some real live people at the track and huff and puff for the sake of burning a few calories.  Then, home again to try this new recipe.  Lowfat, of course.  Maybe I’ll even walk to the tunes of Don……

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Posted by on October 20, 2011 in Randomocity


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