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Hell-mart & Tornado Tuesday


Earlier today I started to write a post about Tuesday.  My first thought was that it was going to be Torture Tuesday…..Since yesterday was Christmas Tree Monday, we basically managed to drag everything out, spread it out all over the house and leave it.  We had trouble with the lights.  All of them.  Everything was a tangled mess.  The beads, the ribbons, the lights, the tinsel.  You name it.  It was a MESS.  It actually looked like someone had vomited Christmas all over the house.  YUCK. I actually said an extra prayer for safety because if the house were to burn, I wasn’t sure we could find our way out.

But then, the perpetual optimist in me, reminded me not to start the day off with such a negative attitude.   Negative Nellys tend to suck the life out of people and I certainly don’t want to be one of those people.  So, I went with a Terrifical Tuesday.  Sure, the house was in absolute chaos.  But I didn’t mind it.  The kids were having fun.  They had smiles on their little faces, so it must be a good day, right?  Another day of decorating would only give me a good excuse for another cup of homemade hot chocolate.

All in all, I decided to scratch the whole dadgum post.  I couldn’t fake it and I didn’t want to spread my pessimism, so I simply kept my mouth shut and my keyboard idle.  I walked away from the computer.  I decided I would come back when I could get my ADHD in control enough to make a firm decision about what to write.

And let me tell you, here I am!

I ended up making a run to the closest Hell-Mart, I mean Wal-Mart…..about 25 miles down the road from our teeny town.  Yes, I hate the place.  My hubby and I refer to it as the arm pit of East Texas.  But when you live in the middle of nowhere, you realize beggars can’t be choosers.  So, Hell-Mart has to suffice.

Yes, it IS that bad!

I needed to get some groceries to cook for tomorrow’s big Thanksgiving dinner at church, as well as some other things.  I planned to leave the kids at home for the afternoon.  Cameron is almost 16 now and I knew he could hold down the fort.  So off I went.  It was time for some peace and quiet.  Kid-free time.  This might just be Terrifical Tuesday after all!  Yay!

Of course, I live a life of calamity and chaos.  Many have said I was jinxed.  Because I can do almost NOTHING without catastrophe.  It follows me around like a puppy dog.  I should have known today would be no different.  I just THOUGHT I was gonna get some alone time all to myself.  But my old pal, calamity was there with me all along.

It started off innocent enough.  I was browsing the Christmas decorations.  Pricing wrapping paper.  Looking for a Christmas gift or two.  That’s when the call came.  The boys called to tell me the town I was in was now under a tornado watch.  I paused for a minute and did actually consider stopping right there and heading home.  But come on, how many times do we have a tornado watch and nothing ever happens?  A lot.  I decided to take my chances.  I kept shopping.

I perused the yarn and crafts.  The electronics.  The pajamas.  I took my time getting over to the grocery section.  In fact, I was almost finished.  Just another item or two and I would be ready to check out.  That’s when it happened.

“Wal-mart customers and associates.  We are now in a Code Black.  Please be aware the weather is conducive to tornados and we are now under a tornado warning.  Be prepared to seek shelter. Code Black.”

 

This is what the tornado MIGHT have looked like if there actually was one!

Shelter?  Really?  I’m in a Super Wal-Mart.  Isn’t that shelter?

I decided to finish up my list quickly.  There was just one thing I forgot in the back of the store.  As I threw that can of cinnamon rolls into the buggy, I notice the aisles are empty.  I guess that announcement (actually there had been three of them by this time), that  Code Black, had frightened our local Wal-Mart shopppers.  I thought it might be time to get serious.  As I rounded the corner, I was met by an associate.

She informed me that there had been 3 tornadoes touch down in our area and we needed to take cover.

NOW.

She sent me to the front of the store and to get somewhere ‘with walls’.

It seemed simple enough.  I sat down in the McDonalds located at the front of the store and began making calls to check on my kids at home.  Of course, no one answered.  Not my mom.  Not the hubby.  Not the kids.

For just a moment panic set it.  But then I remembered I was 25 miles south of the kids.  I’m sure things were fine at home.  And I was fine here.  That’s as far as I got.  My train of thought was interrupted by associates announcing we needed to move to the back of the store to better shelter.

Code Black.  Take shelter in the back of the store.  Code Black.

What?  Really? And seriously, what the heck is Code Black??  Is that supposed to keep me from spinning into a panic?

I frantically continued trying to get someone on the phone.  I wanted someone to go get my babies.  Of course, calamity wouldn’t dare allow that.  That would make things too easy.

I knew I needed more information.  I found a Hell-Mart supervisor/manager….whatever.  I asked for more information about the tornadoes.  Were they north?  Were they south?

She just smiled and said, “Mam, we have a Code Black (there it was again!).  I really don’t know what to tell you.  If I tell you they’re south and you go out there and get yourself hurt, we would be liable.  So I can’t tell you anything.  Why don’t you just take it easy in the back?”

I can’t tell you what I wanted to say to her.  What I almost did say to her. For a small moment, I actually considered giving her a black eye to go with that Code Black.  That would teach her.

BAM!

I stomped out of the store.  Associates following me, telling me to come back.  It wasn’t safe. Code Black. 

Blah.  Blah.  Blah.

All I knew was I had kids home alone.  If things were that bad here, I needed to get home before they got that bad there.

I still couldn’t get anyone on the phone.  Finally, I called my pastor and his wife.  They would go pick up my kids and keep them until I made it home.

Whew.  Relief.

Needless to say, I didn’t get picked up by a tornado.  In fact, I’m not sure there were actually any out there.  What I DO know is this.

I left a buggy FULL of groceries at Hell-Mart.  I had found some yarn I loved.  Christmas music for the family.  All left.  It was the cheapest trip to Hell-Mart ever.  All compliments of their stupid Code Black.

I think I could have gone with the Torture Tuesday post earlier.  It would have fit.

Oh, and I still have no groceries.  So I guess tomorrow will be Wal-Mart Wednesday. Woohoo!

 

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Posted by on November 15, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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Potential Productive Power!

Potential Productive Power!

 

Productivity.

It’s a big word.  Yes, indeedy.

The definition of productivity:  the quality of being productive.

That REALLY helps.  Don’t you just love definitions that use the word to define itself?

Ok, the definition of productive:  capable of producing; yielding favorable or useful results, constructive.

After reading about how to be more productive through a featured blog on Freshly Pressed…..I felt it was time to re-evaluate my own productivity.  I should compare the tips and tricks found in the article to my own life and see what I need to change.  After all, who doesn’t want to be more productive?

It was a total and complete confidence crusher. Putting myself next to this super woman just made me feel like a big fat failure.  And why should I compare myself to others anyway?  I’m awesome just the way I am.  Right?

Since today is Friday, I am determined to feel totally confident, productive, and useful….whether it’s true or not.

With that being said, I have come up with some conclusions and tips regarding my own productivity.  I just know folks will be clamoring to get their hands on these useful tips and put them to work in their own lives.  And be warned…….it’s all good.  Positive.  Uplifting.  Encouraging.  All, in honor of Friday.  Cause who needs a Debbie Downer on Friday??

  • I set my alarm clock two hours before time for me to get up.  This way, when the alarm goes off, I can hit that snooze button over and over and over and over and over again.  When I do get up, I feel like I’ve accomplished sleeping late.  Already, a win for me.  Extra sleep!!  Woohoo!

  • Not only have I been seriously productive in GAINING an extra two hours of sleep, I also am impressed with a bit of urgency.  Who wouldn’t after hitting the snooze for two hours?  This in turn, causes me to rush through my shower and getting dressed because I’ve completely exhausted any extra time I might have had if I hadn’t had all that extra sleep.  Rushing saves time……more time saved…..  Productivity WIN!

 

  • I drink a minimum of three cups of coffee and swallow a handful of B12 first thing in the morning.  This gives me an added boost of energy to combat my early morning grumps and gives me the appropriate amount of shakes to help me avoid the desire to sit on the couch.  After all, wearing lounge wear  half the day is very relaxing.  Ok.  Lounge wear is just code for PJ pants.  But doesn’t lounge wear sound so much more professional rolling off the tongue?

  • Make a To-Do List of all the things you need to accomplish.  I’m a list lover.  So I really get into this one.  Grocery list.  Honey Do list.  Cleaning list.  Spring cleaning list.  Christmas list.  Wish list.  Bucket List.  By the time I finish making these lists and look them over, I am absolutely amazed I was able to fight my ADHD long enough to complete them.  Talk about a feeling of accomplishment!!

  • The TV must stay off!!
  • But, in the event of an emergency, just in case I have a weak moment,  I flip Netflix to a TV series that I am in no way interested in.  And I play each episode.  That way my non-interest can last all day long. If I just happen to fall into the grips of it’s addictive prowess, I have accomplished watching an entire season by days end.  Now THAT’S productivity!!
Image representing Netflix as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

  • To achieve maximum productive potential for the day, walk away from the laptop.
  • But, again, just in case of emergency…… place the laptop in your lap.  Just hear me out.  Sure you could waste time scrolling through the newsfeed on Facebook….refreshing every couple of minutes for the latest status updates.  Such a misuse of your time.  And time is precious. I will let you in on my secret, because you are here.  Reading my blog.  Making me feel even more productive.  So I owe you.  It’s a precious, valuable secret.  Open multiple pages in your browser window.  Facebook on one, Pinterest on another.  Don’t forget YouTube.  Oh, and don’t forget your email.  While waiting for pages to refresh, bounce back and forth between them all.  This completely maximizes your online potential, makes you feel really busy, and truly a productive and useful member of society.

Now, it will take a LOT of practice.  Don’t feel discouraged.  You CAN do this.  Productivity can be your middle name.  Practice makes perfect.  That’s what some old lady told me once.  So practice these tips and tricks.  Once you get them down, you will be ready for the big Kahuna.

What’s the big Kahuna, you ask?  Well, since it’s Friday, and because I completely reek of awesomeness, I am happy to share.  But it’s our little secret.  Ok?

To seriously achieve the BE ALL,  END ALL of productiveness……..

put the laptop into your lap…..

manage multiple windows…….

WHILE watching Netflix……

in your pajamas……

while drinking a tall cup of coffee……

and keep that To-Do List next to you with a pen handy.

That’s true PRODUCTIVITY POWER, right there!

After all, those stinkin’ lists just keep growing for some reason.

I thought about trying to figure that one out, but I’m too busy productively being productive.

 

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Posted by on November 4, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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