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I will Survive………well, maybe.


 

The alarm clock is my dog.  He wakes me up in his pen, whining each morning.   Same time each day.  Today is no different.  I pick him up, take him out, put coffee on…….and it happens.

Everything shuts down, turns off, goes eerily quiet.  The electricity is off.

I can handle this.  NO problem.  People went for hundreds of years without electricity.  It can’t be all that hard.  Sure.  Back to basics.  In your face……Mr. Thomas Edison,….Alexander Volta….Ben Franklin!!  I don’t need you!

I make my way to my laptop.  I left it charging.  Ha!  The electricity gods just thought they were gonna zing me and ruin my Friday.  My head begins to swell and I break out in song and dance…….I will survive!  I’m sporting my Gloria Gaynor fro (remember, I just woke up) and shaking my bootay in my pj pants, ‘singing’ at the top of my lungs.  I finish my rendition of the classic… and collapse on the sofa, laptop in hand.

I open it up, turn it on and head to the coffee pot.  That’s when my world starts to spin.  No coffee…..  I begin to talk myself down off the ledge of a full blown panic attack and walk back to the computer.  I’m in control.  The old days weren’t easy.  You can do this.  I sit down to enjoy my morning dose of Facebook.  And the world begins to spin again.  No electricity to run the router…..means no internet.

Feeling a tad bit weak, but still determined… this is just a molehill in my day, not a mountain….I decide to walk out and check on the dog.  That’s it!  I will go out onto the deck and enjoy nature.  Marvel at the leaves, and the sky, and the birds chirping in the trees.  And I did………for a few minutes.  But it’s hard to concentrate on God’s creation when you have the shakes and sweats from not getting your morning dose of caffeine.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I hear the roar of a truck heading my way.  Could it be???  It looks like a box truck!!!  It is!!!!  It’s the electric co-op truck.

He’s driving slowly.
Does that mean he’s looking  for the problem??
Has fixed the problem and is just strolling the neighborhood??
Or is he JUST strolling the neighborhood and is not aware of the problem??

At this point, it’s hard to think clearly, rationally.  And I don’t have time to think.  He will be gone before I blink!  I almost take off in a sprint after him.   But I’m not sure if I should fall down right there in the street and thank him for rescuing me or if I should tackle him, take him hostage, and hold him prisoner until the lights are back on.  I don’t have time to figure it out, I haven’t had my morning coffee, which means I have NO energy and am still groggy.  And I’m still in my Pjs….which means NO bra.

NO BRA!!

And in somewhat public!!  I suddenly shrink into the swing, desperately hoping he won’t see me as he passes.

And just like that, he was gone.

Reality sets in.  I’m dumbfounded, overcome in embarrassment, have no coffee, and STILL no electricity.  Who am I kidding?  I can’t do this.  How will I make it?  As despair overtakes me, I head back into the house.  Who wants to enjoy God’s creation when you are the queen of all wimps?

And that’s when it happens.  Just as I grab the door knob,  I hear the A/C kick on and begin to roar.  It’s back!!!  I puff back up faster than you can say wienerschnitzel (I don’t know, it just popped into my head).  I break out into song and dance again.  I SURVIVED!!!!  I’m King of the World!!!  Life is good.  Today is Friday.  It’s payday.  I am drinking my third cup of coffee.  AND I have electricity.  Lesson learned.  Thank you, God.  I am blessed.

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Posted by on October 7, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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Life as I Know It….. with Boys


 

 

 

Loud.  Stinky.  Gross.   Rowdy.  Adventurous.  Kind.  Fearless.  Messy.  Obnoxious.  Grumpy.  Silly.  Happy-go-lucky.      BOYS.
                                                                                                  
I’ve spent 21 years thus far mothering boys.  In fact, I have FIVE of them.  And three are still at home.  I still have a long way until my journey with my boys is over.  I thought I would share some good, bad, and stinky with you.

  • Rock.  Paper.  Scissors———>>> the ULTIMATE decision maker.   Especially for things they DON’T want to do!
  • Electronics are a guy’s best friend.
  • Clothes are optional.   An after-thought.  If it weren’t for Mom to FORCE them to wear them, they would most likely run around naked….all the time!
  • One of the most important things a mom can do for her boys is cook supper.  They LOVE to eat.
  • Going to the bathroom is a game.  That toilet is just a big ole bulls-eye.  And it’s more fun to miss than it is to hit.
  • There just aren’t many things more important than who gets to ride shotgun.  And if you get banished to the third row seat, life just might be over.
  • Bathing was invented as a form of torture.  And it works very well.
  • Clutter is a way of life.  And they like it.
  • Shoes are completely unimportant and unneccessary ….until mom throws a hissy fit and makes you wear them!
  • Life revolves around super heroes……  Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Green Lantern, Flash, Captain America, Iron Man, Wolverine…..to name a few.
  • Sports are a way of life.  Any math problem or life lesson can be taught through a sports analogy.
  • No matter how big or how old, they still want hugs….and lots of them.
  • Real life is over-rated.  Imagination is where it’s at!
  • Boys enjoy their own smells…..and often the smell of others as well.
  • Boys are incapable of holding grudges.  They just aren’t wired that way.  You can get mad at them.  They can get mad at you.  Five minutes later, it’s over and they still want that hug.
  • Houses are really just indoor playgrounds.  It’s best if you decorate them as such.  Treasures belong in a chest buried somewhere, not out on the coffee table anyway.
  • Learning to burp the ABC’s is an art.  And the best mom’s teach them how.
  • Trash cans are just basketball goals in disguise.
  • A boys mission is to make mom feel needed…. constantly…. by providing perpetual, never-ending messes.
  • Lastly, nobody needs their mom like a baby boy.

With all their stinky, rambunctious, wild escapades……..boys are sweet, lovable, loving, and kind.  Sometimes you might need to look closely, beyond all the dirt and grime, beyond all the balls being thrown overhead, and the wrestling under foot….but once you do, you will find a heart filled with deep, unending love for his mom.  In fact, each of my boys have proposed marriage to me when they were little.  Even with all the messes, stinky feet, broken treasures, burping contests, and super hero obsessions….. that little boy who, at the end of the day, wants to climb on the couch and snuggle with mom because she is the coolest girl on the planet?  He’s worth it.  Now, I have a few messes to clean.  I better get busy.  Couch time starts soon.

 
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Posted by on October 2, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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Whooaaaa, there killa!!


My Mom.... Don't let that sweet smile fool you! She can take care of business!

It all started with a simple trip to the grocery store.  I needed to pick up a few things for dinner.  That was a great excuse for mom and I to catch some girl time away from the kids.  Since I live in the sticks, running to the local grocery store means traveling to a neighboring town ten miles away.  So, off we go.  Just a normal grocery run on a normal day.  If you know me, you know NOTHING in my life is normal.

Anyway, back to the story.  We have lunch and  spend some quality time visiting.  Mom lost her husband this past year in a tragic accident.  So it’s been hard.  Some days are better than others.  Lately, it’s been harder than usual.  We spend time talking about life, and laughing about nothing.  Finally, we hit the grocery store and stroll through the aisles discussing recipes and our upcoming family cookbook.   The calm before the storm, I suppose.

We head out with a buggy full of groceries (some hers, some mine).  She is loading her groceries into the side of the SUV, while I’m loading the back.  We’re talking and trying to sort through the bags, when I look up and notice a car.  It’s just sitting there, waiting.  The space next to ours is empty.  The driver is waiting for my mom to close the side door so she can pull in.   As I point this out to mom, that’s when it happens.  She looks at me and responds, “She can wait!!  We have to wait all the time!!  She can wait on us!”

Here we go.  We finish up and load into the car.  As the driver of the ‘waiting’ car pulls into the spot next to us, she gives my mom the what for.  And it’s on.  I thought I was going to have to lock my mom in the car.  She was furious!  Being a tad bit on the feisty side, she was bent on making that woman look her in the eye so she could give her the what for right back again.  She begins to raise her voice, “She won’t look back!  She better look at me!  She has no right to be rude to me!”   I fumble to get the keys in the ignition as quickly as possible, pleading with her to calm down…. because I just KNOW mom is gonna get out and convince this lady once and for all she was rude and plain mean!

Finally, I hear it…… the strange sounds of mumbling and grumbling….I could have sworn it was Na-nanny-boo-boo.  The lady had turned to look at mom and she had gotten her revenge….. Na-nanny-boo-boo and a shriveled up ‘mad’ face.  I thought I might have caught a glimpse of her sticking out her tongue.  As I pull out of the parking lot, the lady driver stomping into the store, mad as all get out…..my mom ranting about the sheer rudeness of this ‘heifer’……..  I am suddenly overcome with laughter.  My mom, in her 60’s, recently widowed,  who so often seems so fragile….. was ready to kick some booty in the parking lot.  Do I think she would REALLY fight this cranky old woman??  That I cannot answer for sure.  But one thing is true….she stands for what she believes 100%…..even if it’s over a door in a parking lot.  She won’t back down when things get sticky.  And, although I was a bit embarassed~ Okay, I was completely embarassed…….deep down in my heart I saw something in that fighting woman that I hope to one day see in myself.  Courage.

Now, if I can just teach her to pick her battles…….but that’s for another post.

Mom........ remember who you're messing with!!

 
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Posted by on September 30, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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