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Smiles, Snickers, and Snorts


There are things in life that bring a smile to your face.  No matter your mood, you just have to smile.

Then there are things that make you snicker, or even flat out give a good snort as you suffer from a belly laugh.

This list contains some of each.  You decide which.

♥  The way your dog acts when you first walk in the door.  Mine is in a pen, so he dances on two paws, trying his best  to jump over the sides so he can cover you in slobber…even though you’ve only been gone an hour.

♥  Finally getting to the restroom after you’ve held it on the road for the past hour and a half and you feel like eyeballs are swimming.

♥  Rob Lowe.  Seriously.  Yum.

♥  Watching your kids have a burping contest.  Or even better, you joining in…and winning.

♥  The fact that watching Sheldon on Big Bang Theory makes me feel normal.

♥  Finding anything at 75% off, whether you need it or not.

♥  Flipping your pillow over to the cool side.

♥  Your mom falling backwards in her recliner to the floor, jumping repeatedly, stripping her shirt off and screaming because she thinks her kid just threw a bug on her.  Her 5 boys rolling in the floor, literally laughing their rears off  at their mom doing a striptease in front of them while screaming for help…. all while slowly coming to the realization that the bug was actually a flying raisin.

♥ Maxine.

 

♥  Your dog crawling out from under the covers, laying on your pillow right next to your head, and passing gas on you.   True story.

♥  Your baby boy writing in his journal that momma’s kisses are the sweetest.

♥  The look on someone’s face when you randomly scare the living daylights out of them.  Try it.  And see if you don’t laugh.

♥  Taking off your bra at the end of a hard day.  Or any day, for that matter.

♥ That feeling you get on Friday afternoon when you realize, you have made it, you have survived.  The weekend is here.

♥ And last, but certainly not least…………

                                                                                                               Puppy Planking!!

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by on November 2, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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Roadtrip: turkeys, GPS for dummies, and screaming indians….


They look soooooo....sweet. But note Grandma's expression of sheer JOY!

Roadtrip.

Rambunctious.  Rowdy.  Runnin’ me Ragged.  Roadtrip.

This simple compound word consumed my day.

My mom had to be dropped off at the airport (200 miles from home) early in the morning.  Being the most devoted of her children (or simply a glutton for punishment), I took the job.

It really wouldn’t have been such a big deal if it were ME taking  HER and ME coming home.   ME + HER = HAPPY ROADTRIP.

Add in 3 boys to this equation and everything changes.  Add in school work (I’m a home school mom) and everything multiplies.  Add in traffic, a mom who cannot work a cell phone, much less a GPS system, and it divides my personality.  Really.  As much as I would love to say I was all rainbows and sunshine today, that would be a big fat lie.

First off, the kids, confined in a pretty small SUV for 3 1/2 hours, is enough to make me wanna pull my hair out.  Boys are just loud.  They come into the world that way.  They can’t help it.  They are just wired LOUD.  Then, being as naive as I am, I thought they could work on schoolwork in the car.  Kill two birds with one stone.  All it killed were my nerves.  Life would have been a much happier place if I had just given in and let them put on a movie.

Next, we come in to Houston.  Mom didn’t make reservations at a hotel (we came down the night before her flight).  She thought we would just ‘find’ a hotel.  Great.  Brilliant.  Awesome.  Really.  This excites me more than life itself.  It might not have been too bad if she actually knew how to work a smart phone or even the GPS system in her own car.  But she can’t even work the radio.  So, as we enter Houston in the middle of 5 o’clock traffic, Mom is sitting in the passenger seat trying her best to work my smart phone to find a hotel near the airport….  What do I do now?  Which button do I push?  Where did the keyboard go?  Why did the screen just turn sideways.  THE SCREEN JUST TURNED SIDEWAYS!!!!  Oh no, the screen is gone!!  Here LOOOOOOOKKKK!!!    Yes, all while I’m driving, in traffic,  kids screaming in the backseat, and a novel on CD playing in the background.

Enter in spinning head.  Mine.  After picking up yet ANOTHER boy at his college dorm, missing several turns on the way to the airport (probably due to spinning head), stopping on the side of the road (3 times) to try and find a hotel……… in a BAD part of town…..I honestly thought my heart was going to explode and my head spin completely off my body.

Fast forward a few hours.  We ventured out once again to eat dinner.  The hotel clerk is my HERO…..he actually gives amazing directions AND he had a fresh pot of coffee.  We make it back with relatively no problems…..well, other than the wild indians in the back seats….. and we make it back for the night.  I even think my head stopped spinning.

Of course, the turkeys…literally (we found turkey hats at Target) are still going 90 to nothing.  That Energizer Bunny has NOTHING on my boys.

Monday night football isn’t even into halftime yet, and the college kid still hasn’t been delivered back to his dorm.  Stay tuned.   Spinning heads just might make another appearance before morning.

Monday Night Football and Driving Mom CrAzY

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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Life as I Know It….. with Boys


 

 

 

Loud.  Stinky.  Gross.   Rowdy.  Adventurous.  Kind.  Fearless.  Messy.  Obnoxious.  Grumpy.  Silly.  Happy-go-lucky.      BOYS.
                                                                                                  
I’ve spent 21 years thus far mothering boys.  In fact, I have FIVE of them.  And three are still at home.  I still have a long way until my journey with my boys is over.  I thought I would share some good, bad, and stinky with you.

  • Rock.  Paper.  Scissors———>>> the ULTIMATE decision maker.   Especially for things they DON’T want to do!
  • Electronics are a guy’s best friend.
  • Clothes are optional.   An after-thought.  If it weren’t for Mom to FORCE them to wear them, they would most likely run around naked….all the time!
  • One of the most important things a mom can do for her boys is cook supper.  They LOVE to eat.
  • Going to the bathroom is a game.  That toilet is just a big ole bulls-eye.  And it’s more fun to miss than it is to hit.
  • There just aren’t many things more important than who gets to ride shotgun.  And if you get banished to the third row seat, life just might be over.
  • Bathing was invented as a form of torture.  And it works very well.
  • Clutter is a way of life.  And they like it.
  • Shoes are completely unimportant and unneccessary ….until mom throws a hissy fit and makes you wear them!
  • Life revolves around super heroes……  Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Green Lantern, Flash, Captain America, Iron Man, Wolverine…..to name a few.
  • Sports are a way of life.  Any math problem or life lesson can be taught through a sports analogy.
  • No matter how big or how old, they still want hugs….and lots of them.
  • Real life is over-rated.  Imagination is where it’s at!
  • Boys enjoy their own smells…..and often the smell of others as well.
  • Boys are incapable of holding grudges.  They just aren’t wired that way.  You can get mad at them.  They can get mad at you.  Five minutes later, it’s over and they still want that hug.
  • Houses are really just indoor playgrounds.  It’s best if you decorate them as such.  Treasures belong in a chest buried somewhere, not out on the coffee table anyway.
  • Learning to burp the ABC’s is an art.  And the best mom’s teach them how.
  • Trash cans are just basketball goals in disguise.
  • A boys mission is to make mom feel needed…. constantly…. by providing perpetual, never-ending messes.
  • Lastly, nobody needs their mom like a baby boy.

With all their stinky, rambunctious, wild escapades……..boys are sweet, lovable, loving, and kind.  Sometimes you might need to look closely, beyond all the dirt and grime, beyond all the balls being thrown overhead, and the wrestling under foot….but once you do, you will find a heart filled with deep, unending love for his mom.  In fact, each of my boys have proposed marriage to me when they were little.  Even with all the messes, stinky feet, broken treasures, burping contests, and super hero obsessions….. that little boy who, at the end of the day, wants to climb on the couch and snuggle with mom because she is the coolest girl on the planet?  He’s worth it.  Now, I have a few messes to clean.  I better get busy.  Couch time starts soon.

 
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Posted by on October 2, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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Random Nothingness


My ADHD is kicked into high gear today, so each time I try to write, I basically come up with a lot of random nothingness. I almost gave up, but then (with my positive outlook) realized all that nothingness just might add up to a laugh or two…..and that makes it worth posting. So here we go….

Random thoughts of the day…..

  • I am so scatterbrained, I have to put things into ‘safe spots’. The only problem is I then forget where the safe spot is. If I ever find it, I will hit the jackpot!
  • Boys are really hard on toilets. Enough said.
  • Victoria Secret’s Love Spell is the best shower gel EVER. Which brings me to my next thought….
  • I need a pedicure!!! Badly!!
  • I love to organize, but am by nature a slob. So, I spend hours organizing things into wonderful systems of order only to spend minutes destroying said system. And yes, I know that was a bit redundant. If I can deal with it running through my head, you can deal with reading it.
  • My tolerance today for whining today is minimal. I’m not sure if this is because of the devotion I wrote about complaining/whining or if it’s simply because I am in a whiny mood myself. It’s probably the latter.
  • Tony Romo needs to go. I have no authority with which to base this on. I am not a football person. In fact I know almost nothing about the sport. BUT, until the Cowboys get rid of Romo, they will be losers. Mark it down.
  • I am not a morning person. I just wasn’t wired for mornings. Since I had to get up extra early this morning for an event, I went to bed EARLY where I lay WIDE AWAKE worrying over the possibility of over-sleeping the next morning. Sometime in the wee hours, I finally fell asleep, but woke up intermittently through the night worrying over sleeping in AGAIN. I spent all my time worrying over sleep I never got.
  • I am currently conducting an experiment to see how long you can make a package of M&Ms last. I figure that if I only have one at a time, letting it melt in mouth, the calories have time to dissipate before entering my system. I think I might be on to something. I could make millions!
  • Lastly, I used to wish for that knight in shining armor to come along and treat me like a princess. But I now realize this ain’t no fairy tale and I will never be a princess, so I better get up and cook us up some supper or we will all go hungry. Not that it would hurt us any, but why chance it?
 
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Posted by on September 29, 2011 in Randomocity

 

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Monday, Funday……well, not exactly.


Today is Monday.   That means it’s my day to prop my feet up, watch the soaps, and eat Bon Bons.  The house will be sparkling clean, the laundry nonexistent, and dinner will be an amazing gourmet meal that every person in my house will just love.  We will sit around the dining table, with smiles on our faces, sharing how wonderful our day was and how we just can’t wait til the next day of work and school.

*Sigh*

Ok, so I know I have to snap out of it.  In reality,  my house has taken on a life of it’s own. The floors are strewn to high heaven, dirty clothes seem to be the new decor, and the toilets….well, we won’t go there.  This housework is a thorn in my side.  Actually, it’s more like a spear through my body…. it’s lurking, hovering over me, threatening to consume me.   I feel like I spend my life cleaning.  In fact before I finish cleaning the house, the end I started at is already needing it again.  I’ve tried everything.  Avoiding it, ignoring it, willing it to disappear….all to no avail.  I have even tried propping my feet up, watching soaps, and eating Bon Bons (well, at least in my imagination).  But it just doesn’t work to avoid, ignore, or live in that fantasy world that is so much fun.  It’s still there, only worse from my neglect while trying to will it to go away.  Yee-haw.

So, Today is Monday.  That means I get to clean toilets, scrub showers, mop floors, wash mountains of laundry, dust, and vacuum.  And you know what?  By Monday evening it will need it again.  Tonight’s dinner will be a quick and easy crockpot meal because my feet will hurt and my back will ache  after cleaning up after all these messy boys.  Tonight at dinner, I will smile wearily, anxiously awaiting the moment I can plop down into my chair and relax (probably sometime close to bedtime).   I have decided this is a good thing.  It’s good to be needed, to be depended on.  The alternative is a lonely life with nobody around to mess things up.  So, off I go…..I may be holding my nose as I clean up after these stinky boys of mine but I’ll be singing a happy song in my heart.  Why?  Because tonight…. when I plop into that chair, I will have a couple of boys who want to cuddle up to their momma because they think she is the best momma in the world.  And that makes it all worth it.

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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A New Outlook


Kids.  You can’t live with them.  You can’t live without them.  And you just can’t lock them in a closet.  I have 5 kids.  Five boys to be exact….and I love them with all my heart and soul.  On most days, I even like them.  Today the jury is still out.  Not that they’ve met catastrophe head on today.  It’s not been a bad day.  Just an unappreciated day.

Let’s start with the oldest, Bud.  Well, actually his name is Clayton, but I call him Bud.  Bud (20) woke up in a pitiful mood.  He didn’t have to be at work until 3:00, so he was hanging out this morning…. watching TV, listening to NFL something or other on the laptop, puffed up like the whole world was against him.  Of course, all this technology he had going isn’t very conducive to a learning environment.   So, when his brother asks him to move to a different room, of course he bites his head off.  Because you know,  the most important thing IS football.   Duh…everybody knows that.

Then there’s #2 child…..Adam (19).  I call him AdamAnt  most of the time.  He is going to college at University of Houston.  He did come in to visit this past weekend.  And I did get some good quality time with him the day I picked him up and brought him home.  Of course, that’s because it was only me and his baby brother.  Made it easier to focus.  Nobody else to draw his attention away.   The rest of the weekend he was consumed with visiting other family members….you know the ones that did NOT drive to Houston to pick his happy tail up and drive him home.  Oh, and since he left Sunday, I have not even gotten a text, much less a phone call.  OUCH.

School went well today.  A friend was coming over this afternoon, so they were motivated and finished by 1:00……a major highlight as far as I’m concerned.  So, I decide to run some errands while the boys are occupied playing.   Now you have to understand I live in a very small town pretty much in the middle of nowhere.  Running errands would not take long. A whopping 5 minutes after leaving the house, I get a phone call from baby boy #5, Braedon.  He sounds completely frustrated with the fact that I left the house…and him.  I explain what I’m doing and that I won’t be long (even though I explained it 5 minutes earlier BEFORE I left!).  15 minutes later, my cell rings again.  And of course, it’s Braedon again.  He just wants to know what’s taking me so long. He sounds so downtrodden, I ask him if something is bothering him.  He responds, “I miss you and I’m bored.”  Really??  He was fine before I left.  He suddenly can’t live without his mom for 30 minutes??  Combine me rushing home to keep the baby company, a throbbing headache, and the question, “What’s for supper?”  and “When are you cooking?”………My head almost starts to spin.

So, I’m pumped and loaded for bear.  Ready to pounce on the next unappreciative nagger…..when a still small voice in my head says, “Feeling unappreciated?  Taken advantage of?  Used?  Worn out?  Tired of DOING for everyone else?  No matter what you do, it’s never enough?  They always need more?    You should see things from where I sit.”  And suddenly, my whole outlook changes.  I call on God for my needs constantly.  He blesses me and I go back for more.  And how often do I think of serving Him?  How often do I show Him appreciation and love?  How He must tire of me.  And you know what, those kids, who are driving me completely batty…..I’m blessed to have them.  They are a gift that everyone is not given.  So, I get a hug from the baby, who is standing here waiting for me to ‘finish the post already’…….and get up to cook supper.  Maybe I won’t lock them in a closet after all.

 
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Posted by on September 22, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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A Pufferfish-kind-of Day


Cameron.

Funny.  Wild.  Irresponsible.  Crazy.  Boisterous.  Loving.  Obnoxious.  Clumsy.  Bull-headed.  Fun. Calamity.  Obsessive.  Lazy.  Hyper.  Intelligent.  Goofy.  Caring.  Hilarious.  Stubborn.  Full of Life.  These are just a few words that roll off the top of my head to describe my third child, Cameron.  He is now 15 and taller than me.  Cameron has kept my life interesting to say the least.  He is around the clock entertainment.  He loves to make people laugh and he is very good at it.  He loves to have fun and spends most of his time on a mission to accomplish as much fun as he can cram into any one moment.  Of course, as a mom that can be exhausting.  All that fun somehow manages to push out any hopes for responsibility, growing up….you know all the nonfun things in life.  He HATES school.  He’s just one of those kids who doesn’t fit into a box.  As refreshing as that can be, it’s also burdensome at times.  None of the usual things are important to Cameron.  Grades……..who needs em?  Chores…….what’s the point?  Work?  Does it have anything to do with fun?  So, for the past 15 years, I have spent much time in prayer.  Prayer for this vibrant, full of life, baby of mine to realize a good balance is needed.  You know that sometimes you do things you don’t want to do just because it’s the right thing.  It’s always been like talking to a brick wall to teach him these things.  Then, tonight.  A glimmer of hope.Just about the time I give up all hope that Cameron will actually grow up and get truly serious about anything, it happened.  Just like that.  Out of the blue.

My mom was over for dinner tonight.  We were all gathered around the TV pondering what we should watch on Netflix.  Grandma suggested Dexter, some TV series I had never watched.  That’s when time stood still for just a moment.  Cameron says, “Grandma, I think that Mom might not appreciate us watching that with Stephen and Braedon here.”  There it was.  I responded, “Cameron!”  He looked at me nonchalantly and said, “Well, Mom I remember a few pretty bad things in that show and I just don’t think we want the boys watching it.”  I often think that boy lives to give me something for my prayer list.  The more he keeps me guessing, the bigger he smiles.  But, tonight, he let it slip.  Tonight, he gave me something for my praise list.   He IS learning and even buying into the important things in life.  That boy who loves to keep me on my toes and can make me laugh when I’m so mad I could eat ten penny nails……..he is growing up.  My chest swells with pride.  Alright, I am  blown up like a pufferfish.   Today was a good day.

 
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Posted by on September 20, 2011 in It's my life.....

 

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