I’m sitting here feeling fat and sassy after eating a big ole southern meal, sipping on sweet tea. And it just dawned on me that everyone just isn’t as lucky as me.
Southern people just know how to do thangs right.
And no, that ain’t a typo—- I meant ‘thangs’. I consider being from the south an extra heap of blessing. So, for all you non-southerners….you Yanks and Cal-eee-fornians…..I thought I would share a little bit of the southern side. You might wanna grab a tissue cause you will prolly be drooling in envy soon!
You know you’re from the south when…..
♥ Cornbread is a dinnertime staple.
♥ Pick-up trucks outnumber cars 3 to 1.
♥ Most of those said pick- up trucks contain coolers in the back……well-stocked with cold beer.
♥ Just about anything is breaded and fried….okra, green tomatoes, Twinkies, Oreos, pickles, and even bananas…
♥ The lawn doubles as a junk yard.
♥ Dinner is not complete without a big ole glass of sweet tea.
♥ Flip-flops are worn year round.
♥ The golden prize egg at Easter could be hidden in a cow patty. I have pictures somewhere to prove it!
♥ People actually greet each other as they go in and out of the local Piggly Wiggly.
♥ Kids are raised to say ‘yes, mam’ and ‘no sir’ and they dadgum better use it or else risk getting a good slap upside the back of the head.
♥ Every home as a porch and is used to sit and watch the world go by on a daily basis.
♥ Football is life. Enuff said.
♥ Gravy is used like a condiment. It makes everything taste better.
♥ Bless your heart doesn’t really mean bless your heart. It means you’re an idiot. Or a tragedy has befallen you. Or both.
♥ You’re proud to call yourself a Redneck.
♥ You know what chicken fried steak is. And you LOVE it.
♥ It’s socially acceptable to leave your Christmas lights up year round. In fact, it’s the smart thing to do.
♥ You have more miles on your tractor and/or four wheeler than your car.
♥ A coke is not necessarily a coke. It could be a Dr Pepper, Pepsi, or even a Sunkist.
♥ Deer meat is the preferred meat and can be prepared in a multitude of ways….usually all fried. With gravy.
♥ ‘Fixing to’ and ‘on an accident’ are understood and used frequently. Ex: I was fixing to clean out the car, but then I ran over the curb and busted a tire. But I did it on an accident.
♥ You use a buggy, not a shopping cart.
♥ 1oo+ degree weather goes on for months.
♥ Going to Wal-Mart is a Friday night tradition. It’s good to get out on the town.
♥ A half inch of snowflakes that melt before 9am constitute a holiday due to the dangerous road conditions. We can drive through 3 feet of mud and water in our four wheel drive….but don’t ask us to drive in a half-inch of snow! School is cancelled!!
♥ Traffic jams are usually caused by a tractor on the highway.
♥ Shotgun is not just something you shoot…….it also reserves your right to the front seat. When I say load up, they yell….”SHOTGUN!”
♥ Part of potty training boys is teaching them to pee off the porch. A proud moment, that is, yes sirrreeee!
Which brings my What I Love About the South list to an end. The kids are about to have a peeing contest off the front porch to see who gets dibs on calling the remote control. Gotta go see who wins!!